Social Media...it's a trap

When I think about how much social media and society has influenced our current generation, I feel a true sickness in my stomach. The amount of eating disorder triggers that are spread throughout our society is mind blowing. I cannot go on social media for more than 5 minutes without seeing some type of diet ad or comment/post about how "bad" food is for you and how terrible you are or how terrible someone looks due to the type of food they consumed. Most people were raised like this, being told to eat healthy as children and to not have too much candy or you'll get "fat." However, I wonder, what does this teach us? What do these comments and accusations about food really teach us? I cant help but wonder, as I continue to scroll through these weight loss, diet regimens, and body-negative posts, that what if we all in someway have an eating disorder...? This is most commonly associated as ED-NOS, meaning eating disorder- not specified. Obviously not everyone has had to deal with anorexia or bulimia entirely, but there are so many people who go through life putting blame on food and their "lack of control" because of the way their body looks. So, these individuals will go on diets, start a new workout plan, and cut several certain macro-nutrients out of their lives and meals, such as carbs or sugar or fat. Cutting out these nutrients in an individual's life, is called restriction, also known as an eating disorder behavior. We should not be putting all of our time and energy on the way we look, which includes the way we eat and live our lives. We should not be labeling food as "bad" or "bad for you." We should not be letting social media and society win. I say this because I did. Once I was diagnosed with anorexia nervosa, I started to notice all of the diet, weight loss, super model, healthy living, eating disorder triggering pages I followed on my phone, and I thought to myself...well shit, no wonder I have an eating disorder. I was literally learning how to every day I turned on my phone. Every single non-personal friend I had on my social media accounts were revolved around our diet culture and diet obsession. It was clear that I was definitely part of that obsession. I was constantly reminded about what I "needed" to look like, what I "should" look like, and how to get there. I read a post a while ago by @vajrabody on an eating disorder recovery and awareness Instagram account, about another post by Kim Kardashian called "5 hacks to look thin AF in your pics!." Her words are truly inspiring and I recommend reading more of her words on her page (the link to this post will be at the bottom of this post). I didn't read the article, because why the hell does that matter?! Society cares so much about what we look like in size, that it doesn't notice the cruel and undeniably negative impact these celebs and these supported ideals and so called "hacks" can have on women, and men for that matter. Our society is, without a doubt, entirely eating disorder driven. This is not the only post or article written about physical appearance and body size. It is everywhere that women, and increasingly men, are constantly bombarded with reasons why it is important in this world for you to lose weight and to exercise and work towards the "perfect body." We are told that our bodies are not good enough and it is necessary to go through hell and worse to change it. Yes, exercise is important, exercise in my opinion keeps your heart healthy and strong and can potentially provide you with a longer life, but it is not something to shame people for not participating in. We are human beings who need rest. We are human beings who care so much about fitting in, about looking good, about eating "right" and "clean," about feeling good, about being happy. However, in order to be "happy," according to this society, is by looking a very specific way, weighing a specific number, and by meeting a very specific standard. This also includes things like timelines, relationships, careers, and achievements. When all I cared about were these exact standards, only a freshman in college, I decided I was only worthy if I met and achieved these standards. I succeeded in reaching those standards pretty quick by doing everything my phone told me to do, but by the time I felt that I had reached those standards, the standards of weight, body image and appearance, and relationship status, I had at the same time felt like I had hit rock bottom. I was ripped from school, ripped from college life, ripped from friends and life, and sent to a hospital to save my so-called happy and perfect life society and social media persuaded me to create. Once I was stable and re-fed enough that I could leave the hospital, it wasn't until a month later in residential treatment for my eating disorder, that I decided to unfollow and block every single account on my social media accounts that landed me in that place and in that time of my life. Finally, I started to care about more important things in my life. I became closer to my family, my friends, and my love for art. Most of all, I cared most about recovery, and my life, before social media screwed it up. There is not an appropriate amount of words or meaningful quotes or phrases that can be said to someone that will change their mind and opinion towards diet culture and society, because I used to be that person, denying every accusation made against what I was doing...but if anyone reading can relate to my experiences, believe me when I say, it is not worth it. It is not worth letting society take over your life. Letting social media dictate what you do and how you act and when to do it. I am done following the rules that society has put on people to follow, as if by doing them, you will live a meaningful and happy life. I will lead the life that I want to live, not the life that society says is right, because everyone's lives are different and lived differently. I will take pictures that do not require extensive editing and thought and perfect angles to make me look "thin AF," because I am not thin AF and I am also not a liar. I will be real. I will be raw. I will live in my own society, and I will be ME in it.

Image credit to: @vajrabody (link below!) 

https://www.instagram.com/p/BgNAo7lBEOU/